How to Give a Tantric-Inspired Blowjob

TLDR : Tantric blowjobs, like Tantric sex, is way more about the worshipful intention you bring than the specific technique you use. Recognize yourself or your partner as an embodiment of the Universe and let that guide you.

Blowjobs can be way more than just sucking a cock.

On a mundane level, they can communicate deep appreciation and love to a partner with a penis. On a spiritual level, they can connect you deeply with the punchy, “masculine”, aspects of the Universe, like passion, action, and power.

(I firmly believe that qualities traditionally associated with the word “masculine”, such as power, consciousness, and authority, are deeply feminine too. But whatever word you want to use instead of “masculine”, cocks are full of it.)

In addition to being insanely pleasurable, blowjobs can also be deeply healing. Most people with penises are under a LOT of pressure in bed to “perform.” If their cock doesn’t get hard, penetrative sex just doesn’t happen and their orgasm doesn’t (usually) happen. Also, penetrative sex can be exhausting for the person with the cock.

Blowjobs are a super fun way to reverse that dynamic allowing the person with the penis to open up, surrender, and deeply receive. For some, this may be the only time they really give themselves full permission to FEEL pleasure and climax whenever their body wants to.

There is so much pressure on penises to be bigger, harder, faster, stronger, that giving them a break to just experience pleasure on their own terms is a huge gift.

All of this is true with any blowjob, but taking a worshipful, Tantric mentality to the blowjob brings the experience to a whole new level. A huge aspect of Tantric sex is the worship of ALL aspects in the Universe, the light and the dark, the pleasure and the pain, the masculine, the feminine, the unisex.

By using the blowjob as a ritual practice of this philosophy, you bring a powerful quality to your sexual encounter that words just fail to describe. Worshipping the penis sexually is an embodied way to stand in awe of the action, fire, speed, protection, engorgement, and penetration that happens in all aspects of life. The penis and its seed give life. Treating it as such is deeply nourishing to everyone involved.

For some people, the idea of worshipping a penis is incredibly patriarchal and triggering as hell. If you’re one of those people DON’T DO IT. There are many many other ways to have epic sex and give fantastic blowjobs. Don’t force yourself to do something that feels icky to your soul just because you want to up your sexual game. Just by incorporating the basic blowjob tips below you’ll give an exquisitely pleasureful gift to your partner.

(But if the idea of giving a Tantric blowjob lights you up inside, keep reading!)

The foundation of a Tantric blowjob is just a REALLY FUCKING GOOD blowjob (RFGBJ). Always check-in with your partner to make sure a suggestion sounds good to them before implementing. We’re all unique and vary in how we define an RFGBJ.

Secrets for a RFGBJ

  • For most people with penises, the experience can’t be too wet. Your face should be drenched by the time you’re done. Hydrate well before and after, and supplement your saliva with coconut oil when necessary. (You can use flavored lube if you prefer but coconut oil is much healthier than anything sold at a sex shop.)
  • Get comfy! Nothing ruins an RFGBJ like suddenly feeling guilty because the blowjob giver is obviously uncomfortable. Position your shoulders directly above your elbows (leaving your hands free for additional play) while lying face-down between their legs is a solid position to start from. If you have long hair, pull it back unless you intentionally want it down. Plan on being down there for a LONG time. RFGBJs can’t be rushed.
  • You have veto power. If you’re really starting to feel uncomfortable or just done, it’s ok to stop and move to a different type of sexual play. (If they didn’t get to ejaculate, consider it edging for your next thing.)
  • Jaw muscles are stronger than lip muscles. Most people with penises stimulate themselves with a firm grip when they self-pleasure so firm pressure in a RFGBJ is usually a crowd pleaser. Simply wrap your lips around your teeth and gently squeeze the shaft in various places using your whole mouth.
  • Don’t worry about deep throating. Nothing ruins a RFGBJ like being uncomfortable or worse, throwing up. Deep feels good, but don’t push further than is comfortable for you.
  • Get your hands involved! Slather them in coconut oil and play with their shaft, balls, perineum, thighs, and anus while you continue sucking. Bonus points for licking and sucking those areas as well.
  • Mix it up! Go for a variety of speed, pressure, and location. Once you can tell he’s close to coming though, it’s good to stick with whatever seems to be arousing him most at the moment.
  • Invite feedback. Beforehand, tell them to let you know if something doesn’t feel good or if they’d like you to do something specific. They know their body best and their pleasure can change moment to moment. While you’re in the midst of giving a RFGBJ listen to their breathing. Notice the movement of their bodies. Many penis-bearers are rather subtle about this so pay close attention. This will help you know if they actually like what you’re doing or if they’re just being polite.

Feeling good about your blowjob game? Let’s go Tantric. Add in these elements to your already spectacular RFGBJ to take it to a cosmic level.

Secrets to a Tantric Blowjob

  • Add a worshipful intention! Tantric blowjobs, like Tantric sex, are way more about the worshipful intention you bring than the specific technique you use. Recognize yourself and your partner as an embodiment of the Universe and let that guide you.
  • See their cock as an embodiment of raw, primal power. Be in awe of it. As you kiss and suck, do so as an honor and a privilege to treat a cock this way. Savor the taste and the sensation of the skin. Taste the sweat and the ejaculate as the nectar of the gods.
  • Stimulate their “penis chakras.” If you’re familiar with a chakra system, you can imagine that the penis has its own little system of chakras inside it. The root chakra is at the base of the penis (easiest access is through the perineum) and the crown chakra is the tip. Kiss, sick, and lick each penis-chakra as you go up and down.
  • Incorporate energy play. This can feel pretty advanced but is AMAZING if you can pull it off. If you’re familiar with energy and can easily manipulate it, this is a move for you. As you inhale with their cock in your mouth, imagine you’re pulling their energy out of their body through their cock and letting it penetrate your entire body. Let their energy mingle with yours. As you exhale, imagine this cocktail of energy go back inside their body. Breathe in and out, letting the energy oscillate in and out of each of your bodies.

Tantric blowjobs are exquisite and one of the most amazing things you can give a partner with a penis. When you’re really in it, it feels like you’re giving a blowjob to a god. It’s a fantastic way to connect deeply both with your partner and the potent, viral, primal aspects of the universe.

I help people rediscover awe and wonder through sexual and spiritual healing. Find resources and more at michellegarfinkel.com.

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